Almost the end

Sitting on the balcony of the orphanage watching sunset has been my favorite pastime these days. It gives me plenty of time to think. I'm thinking about the past, the future. I know I should be enjoying the present. But some times you need to have time to reflect right?

Coming to this point I am always thinking of getting home and the situations I would face. I had just finished a book about an inexperienced backpackers story. When he got home he could not tell clearly what had happened to him. And his mum just couldn't understand and lost interest and kept rambling about nothing important that happened during the time he left. 

This is exactly how I'm picturing the situation when I get home. I would be meeting some old friends and they would ask me about my trip. I wouldn't know how to start and the topic changes when they could not understand or lost interest in what I'm saying. Then the conversation would resume to the normal cheesy tv drama or work or career or relationship or gossips. Even just imagining that made me scared. It was a priceless experience for me though. But I could just keep it to myself, or those interested. 

I miss home somehow, for the food, for the things I don't have here. People tend to remember only the good things. And it strikes me that I had almost forgotten about what I hated most, the boring conversations, the inescapable tv dramas and noise. 

Thinking about that made me a bit melancholy. I'm afraid that I could not enjoy my time any further. I'm also afraid that I would not have the determination to leave my family again once settled down. It is pointless to think so much about the future though. I will know when the time comes.