Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The best part of the trip is not in the photos.
I am so moody right now. On a trans Mongolian train. I had nothing to do but to rewind the things I have done in the past week. I do not want to forget that. But nothing is left other than my memory.

This is the first time I do not want a change to happen. Change is good as I always believe. I could easily let go of my job, my friends and family to seek what I want and I believe the better is ahead and this would be a life changing experience for me. But the week in Beijing was so remarkable that I felt sad leaving the people there.

It is just the beginning of my solo trip. The really first time that I am alone to an unknown place. Maybe that's the feeling of loneliness and insecurity that are creeping into me. And I've just say farewell to the last person that I could rely on. No I should never rely on anybody. This is the worst thing I would do for myself.

I've been asked many times if I'm excited for the trip to Mongolia. And honestly no. Even now when I'm on the way there. It feels like my heart is empty and numb, fearless. I could only see the present and enjoy it. Do not think about the future and the past. Those people I met and what we did will soon fade away. Being homeless is not that cool. I guess this is the price I paid for the freedom. Maybe I just have to let my feelings go so I could enjoy my time again.


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