Farewells are too heavy

The best part of the trip is not in the photos.
I am so moody right now. On a trans Mongolian train. I had nothing to do but to rewind the things I have done in the past week. I do not want to forget that. But nothing is left other than my memory.

This is the first time I do not want a change to happen. Change is good as I always believe. I could easily let go of my job, my friends and family to seek what I want and I believe the better is ahead and this would be a life changing experience for me. But the week in Beijing was so remarkable that I felt sad leaving the people there.

It is just the beginning of my solo trip. The really first time that I am alone to an unknown place. Maybe that's the feeling of loneliness and insecurity that are creeping into me. And I've just say farewell to the last person that I could rely on. No I should never rely on anybody. This is the worst thing I would do for myself.

I've been asked many times if I'm excited for the trip to Mongolia. And honestly no. Even now when I'm on the way there. It feels like my heart is empty and numb, fearless. I could only see the present and enjoy it. Do not think about the future and the past. Those people I met and what we did will soon fade away. Being homeless is not that cool. I guess this is the price I paid for the freedom. Maybe I just have to let my feelings go so I could enjoy my time again.

Things and people in Beijing

Too much happened in the week in Beijing. I have just been to the Forbidden City, the Great Wall and Temple of Heaven and those are simply too touristy to enjoy. What made it remarkable, was the people.

Girl in the middle of a plastic surgery
The other night I met a girl having a plastic surgery in my hostel. We were staying in the same room. At the beginning I thought she was having an accident or something but I did not ask. Yet she was pretty open about it and told me she was having a surgery for slimming the face and deepening eyelids (I don't know what it is called). Brave.

New North Korean best friend
North Koreans are much more open to the world than I have expected. Or perhaps it is just those I met. Of course they are the special ones as the father is a diplomat in China and his 16-year-old kid was very well built than our average size. They speak fluent Chinese and some English and open to talk about their country. And the kid, which is my friend now, knows very well about international issues but just from different perspectives as we do. We cannot judge who is right or wrong. And he can watch whatever Hollywood movies and never thought his right is restricted. He reminds me of the book "Nothing to envy". When some of us are getting aware of the negatives brought by capitalism, can we say socialism is necessarily a bad thing? At least I don't see it from my friend's point of view. One thing different is that North Koreans are very conservative. They do not allow women to drink alcohol so he kept pouring mine. We went for a picnic and played ukulele at the gate, trying to see if anybody would throw in some money, and he thought it is a shame and stopped us doing it. We may think he is crazy and so did he. Overall he is a fun and normal kid, we are all humans beings.

An unexpected morning in the Chinese police station
I was about to get breakfast in the morning and saw some men in uniforms taking videos and asking questions in the reception. I was curious and stopped for a bit and then I was asked to show my ID card. I was so surprised that he kept our cards with no intention of giving us back! Then I was bound to wait until he got a couple others staying at the hostel to the police station. Everyone was confused and had no idea what was happening. I was half excited but for a moment I remembered cases like fake policemen or dying accidentally in the police stations. Who knows what could happen. At the station we waited one by one to have our records on paper. One of the police looked very serious about me being a Hong Kong citizen staying at this unlicensed hostel. He said it was illegal and I would get into trouble.
I was taken to a small room with a computer, a single bed and an underwear hanging at the corner. Probably they sleep here. Then I was asked to the very detail of what happened at the day I arrived the hostel, what the girl at the reception was wearing, her height and weight, how I did the transaction, my political background (I suppose this is important) etc. it took around half an hour to finish. And I had my fingerprints and signatures on each page of the records. The police were nice though. They told me to check out immediately so I moved to another legal place to stay in the end.

Discussion with the communist youths
I met a Chinese girl in a Hutong on the way I looked for my illegal hostel. The other night she came to visit with her friends and we had a great night discussing the difference between HK and China. One of them is a member of the communist party but he was open to different ideas.